on Letterman
Craig, in his redolent Scottish burr,
says that lindsay lohan
drives on the left too
a big laugh and applause
and I wonder:  who exactly
is lindsay lohan and why to do these people
average folks from Portland
Butte and Winnepesaukee
know what I don’t know?

have you been punk’d and
would I be able to see it if you had?

I thought ET was a film by Spielberg
but every time I check that channel
it is a story about a twenty-something celebrity
I don’t know

Kanye, P Diddy, J Lo, 50 cent
I’ll look them up on Wikipedia
and trust it’s right
at least it weighs less
than the thirty volumes of Britannica sitting
in my basement