All new news from Walnut Shade

After a short hiatus, the correspondent is back bringing you the news from Walnut Shade. In this week’s edition, we learn about Jim and Melody’s wedding, reminiscences about Marshall Green’s great-uncle who played for the 1924 National Champion Notre Dame football team, anticipate K-State’s Cotton Bowl game against Arkansas.

It was a buy week in Walnut Shade. Read all about it here:

http://www.walnutshadenews.com

 

 

In case you missed it…

A couple of months ago, I published a book on Amazon entitled “The Permanent Collection.” It’s a kitchen-sink of poems, short stories, photographs, paintings, notebook entries and recipes that I’ve created over the last six or seven years. I put it together mainly so I’d have a lot of those things all in one place. You know how stuff gets scattered around the house? Well, the same thing happens with bits and pieces that are residing on CDs, DVDs, hard disks, and the cloud. I figure at some point, my six-year-old Macbook is going to die and I’ll have to go through the agony of trying to recover the files that may or may not be recoverable, so having an honest-to-goodness physical copy might be useful.

As I said, in case you missed it, here’s a shot of the front and back covers. It’s on Amazon, but because it’s printed in full color, the price is outrageous. If you decide you want one, let me know and I might be able to get it for you at a discount.

 

 

To whet your appetite, here’s a poem, included in the book, that I published on this blog quite some time ago. It seems to have contemporary relevance (and, I might add, before a certain person became a presidential candidate).

Art appreciation 101

is it possible that Donald Trump
and Rod Blagojevich are really
the same person?

could there be
another toupee
at large as bad as that one
ready to pounce
on unsuspecting children?
or can there be
two personalities roaming around the universe
so abrasive or outrageous?

but I’m stating the obvious
like: people who prefer buffets
tend to buy a Thomas Kinkade more often
than a Picasso

October, 2009

Ready for summer

When my grandmother died thirty years or so ago, one of the things I inherited was an old lawn chair that I remember my grandfather sitting in after a day of tending his garden. He used to grow lots of vegetables on about a quarter-acre patch of ground in addition to hundreds of irises. I dug up a few of the irises and have moved them from house to house. Right now, some of them are being “fostered” by friends in Leawood until the day I can transplant them to our new house in Manhattan, Kansas.

But, back to the lawn chair. I’ve moved that thing around from house to house, like the irises, always intending to repaint it. Needless to say, the six layers of paint have peeled and rust, as it does, attacked it. This is what it looked like until about a week ago:

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Here is what it looks like today:

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I found a company here in town that does powder coating, so I took the chair apart and they stripped it and coated it in a K-State purple. That’s also a Monett High School purple, since my grandfather and grandmother lived in Monett, Missouri, and I graduated from MHS. Suzanne, being a K-State grad, likes the purple and I like having my grandfather’s chair ready for summer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Neosho Massacree

Today is the day that many of us of a certain age (over 6o, let’s say) celebrate… the real-life incident that inspired “Alice’s Restaurant Massacree,”  a song about criminal behavior, the war in Vietnam and a Thanksgiving dinner of unusual proportions. This, in fact, is the fiftieth anniversary of that event.

The song has special meaning for me because I was part of something quite similar. The following is a true account, as far as I can remember the details (it happened a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, you know), of the Neosho massacree.

The story starts in the summer of 1966 when I join a rock ‘n roll band called The Approximate Thots. Previously, I was the stand-up bass player in a Dixieland band that performed at summer church picnics, senior citizens’ parties and political events. One day, we traveled around the county on the back of a farm truck, playing at rallies for a Republican candidate for state representative. Sunburn and $25 to split between the five of us was our reward. I’m pretty sure the guy won, since only Republicans ever ran for office in Lawrence County.

Joining the Thots was a real change in prestige, especially among my peers. There was nothing less-cool in the mid-sixties than playing Dixieland jazz, so being in a rock band was big stuff. We were the prototypical garage band, rehearsing in our parents’ garages, breezeways  or back yards until the neighbors had had enough and the police came to tell us to pull the plug. We were what was known then as a “cover band” doing faithful renditions of the Young Rascals, Buckinghams, Dave Clark Five, Byrds, Lovin’ Spoonful, and Freddie and the Dreamers, with a few Beatles and Stones thrown in. We played sock hops around southwest Missouri and ironically, that summer we were invited to play one of the church picnics my Dixieland band had done the year before. The gentleman who invited us had no idea what type music we played; he just had the business card with my number on it. Boy, was he surprised when a bunch of “long-haired hippies” showed up and started playing “Get Off My Cloud” at 110 decibels. He literally pulled the plug on us.

When fall came, we headed off to school, then known as Southwest Missouri  State College, now Missouri State University. I had a full scholarship to SMS, having been a good student in high school, but I managed to spend all my time either playing in the band or listening to music with my roommate. After the first year, I was politely asked not to come back. I was not heart-broken, to say the least, but I began to be aware that not being in school was not a good idea, given that the war in Vietnam was heating up and a college deferment was an important thing to have.

I managed to enroll at Crowder Junior College in Neosho, despite having a .01 grade point from SMS. I spent a semester commuting back and forth between Monett and Neosho, attempting to atone for my academic sins. By the end of the semester, I had proven to the Dean of Students that I was worthy to continue and so decided to move to Neosho to save the commuting time. A couple of my friends from SMS who had also had lackluster careers there and I rented a house and settled down to work on our studies.

By this time, the Approximate Thots had become the Ultimate Purpose and we continued to play dates around the area. That lasted until one of our members, the organ player, Steve Vermillion, got drafted, which meant that quite a bit of our repertoire followed him to the Army. No more Rascals, Buckinghams, Dave Clark Five, Doors. The band membership had always been fluid: sometimes there were five of us, sometimes four, sometimes even six, but the core group was made up of John “Breeze Blues” Mitchell on drums, Dennis “Denny” Willard on guitar and vocals, and me on bass. At just about the time that Steve was heading off to boot camp, we heard a group called the Jimi Hendrix Experience that had only three pieces: drums, guitar, bass. Heck, we thought, we could do that. And so we did.

Despite rehearsing and playing gigs, I managed to keep my grades up and prepared to graduate with an associate of arts degree. Shortly before the end of the semester, my friends and I started cleaning out the house we were renting. I was planning to move but a couple of my housemates intended to stay on. Now, in southwest Missouri at the time, not many towns provided trash service. Most people either used a barrel in their back yard to burn whatever would burn or hauled the refuse to the town dump (at that time, as far as I know, there were no “landfills,” that being a rather modern linguistic convention). Over the course of the semester, we had “stockpiled” our trash in the garage, but finally decided that it was prudent to dispose of it properly, so we piled it into the back of a friend’s pickup and headed to the dump. Much like Arlo Guthrie discovered on Thanksgiving Day in 1965, we discovered on a Sunday in 1968 that the town dump was closed. Now, most folks would just turn around and go home and wait until the next day to deliver the trash to the dump, but as I remember it, it was a nice spring day and we weren’t inclined to make a return trip, so on the way back to our house, we happened to pass a spot at the side of the country road that obviously had been used by other impatient folks to leave their unneeded bread wrappers, food cans, old clothes, and letters from long-lost relatives. We looked at each other, stopped the truck and began tossing our treasures onto the obviously well-visited pile.

A few days later, as I sat in the front room of our house listening to The Blues Project play “Violets of Dawn” (actually, I certainly can’t remember what I was listening to but that was, and still is, a favorite of mine, so it very well might have been on the turntable. Note for my younger readers: a turntable was a device that we used back in the olden days to play round pieces of plastic called “records.” I know, it seems like an inefficient way to listen to music, but it was all we had and it worked, unless you happened to step on the records, which always seemed to be strewn across the floor) when I heard a knock at the door. Not expecting company, I opened the curtains just a bit and peeked out. Caution was called for at that time because a couple of my friends were in the back bedroom experimenting with an herbal compound that was said to have spiritual and soothing properties. To my shock, on the other side of the door was a Sheriff’s deputy, looking quite perturbed. For a moment, I considered just pretending that I hadn’t heard him knock but knock again he did, more forcefully this time. Nothing to do but open the door and be arrested, along with my friends, for inhaling, as Bill Clinton would say (for the record, I only tried pot one time, not this time, and even though I inhaled, I really didn’t enjoy it).

“Are you Charles St.Clair?” the deputy asked. “Is this your letter?”

He handed me an envelope that clearly had my name on it.

“Yes, I am. I guess this is my letter.”

“We found it out in a pile of trash by the dump. We think you should go out and clean it up. Get in your truck and I’ll follow you out.”

By this time, my friends had emerged from the back room, looking a bit glassy-eyed, but wondering what was going on.

“Maybe your friends can help you clean up the mess,” the deputy suggested.

“Yeah, we’d be happy to, officer,” one of them said, just managing to suppress a laugh.

So, we all got in my friend’s truck, with me driving, and followed the deputy and his partner to the dump site and spent the next couple of hours throwing trash, ours and everyone else’s who used that place, into the back of the truck. My friends would occasionally descend into a fit of giggling and snorting, which irritated the deputies, but since we were doing what we were told to do, they let it slide, not suspecting the reason for the mirth.

When we finished, we got one of those “don’t ever do it again” lectures and were allowed to go on our way. The next day, we went back to the dump and emptied the truck.

There were a few times after that, especially after I heard “Alice’s Restaurant” and Arlo’s experience with the draft, that I wished I had gotten arrested and fined for “litterin’.” That would have solved my problem with the draft board, but looking back, I’m proud that I chose another route and applied for a “conscientious objector” classification, which I miraculously was granted. Being a CO is, on the whole, more honorable than being a convicted felon, although I know in some circles, they are considered to be pretty much the same thing.

So, happy “Alice’s Restaurant Massacree” 50th anniversary to you all. Don’t litter.

 

The thing about insurance….

Suzanne got a new iPhone the other day (and I inherited the old one; this is the second hand-me-down I’ve gotten, the first being a bizarre Windows phone that only marginally qualified as a “Smart phone”; I got her “old” iPhone 5c which does seem pretty smart in comparison). It’s bright and shiny and does all kinds of wonderful things, including making phone calls. Funny how the phone feature of most “phones” these days is not really one of the selling points (I almost typed “celling points” but decided that pun might just be too much); apps and texts and tweets and the fact that your phone can talk back to you (Siri, where did Ernestine go? Did she get fired?) without having to make a call to someone are the things that seem to attract most buyers these days (and what ever happened to the days when the phone company gave you a phone, albeit not one you could carry around in your pocket, for the privilege of gouging you on long-distance calls?).

Not too long ago, you walked into the phone store and plunked down a fifty bucks and walked out with a device that looked and mostly acted like the communicators on Star Trek, and that was pretty much their only function: to communicate. Now, you walk into the store and plunk down $600 to buy one; or even better, “lease” a Smart phone for $25 a month, with the right to get a new one every six months, since that seems to be the time-frame in which your phone becomes oboleted (I’ve decided to start making verbs out of nouns like GWB used to do; ah, how I miss that moron; he somehow looks almost intelligent, or at least benign, compared to the current crop of wackos running for President on the GOP side of the political spectrum) by Apple or Samsung.

In addition to the purchase price, we learned this time that you can get insurance for your phone, in case you drop it or lose it or it gets eaten by a bear while you are on vacation in Yellowstone Park (which, by the way, I understand has great reception; the park, not the bear). For only $8 a month, all of those mishaps, and many more, are covered. However, there is a deductible of $150, so over the course of your two-year lease you get to pay $192 plus $150 if something happens to the phone. That’s 57% of the price of the phone.

Hmmm.

So for comparison, let’s say you lease a $30,000 car for two years. The monthly insurance cost would be $400 and your deductible would be $7,500. Now, I suppose if you have two teenage sons, you might be paying $400 a month, but would you even let them drive your $30,000 car? An accident would wind up costing you $17,100 for the two years you had that car. Somehow seems like a lot to me.

Well, Suzanne declined the insurance for her bright, shiny new iPhone and vowed to herself never to drop or lose it, but it looks like we will have to cancel our trip to Yellowstone next summer. Wonder what there is to do in Topeka? Hope there aren’t any bears there.